artykins

You have a type

A tendency

A pre-disposed affection for them

Girls with dark hair

Girls that leave you lonely

Girls that perpetuate your melancholic disposition

It’s because they’re all like her

In some form

Or another

They’re all like her

Mistress of the north

Ice queen of the heart

She gives you ultimatums

She tells you that “it’s going to have to be her”

“Or it’s going to have to be me”

“You can’t have both”

“You just can’t”

But why?

It’s because girl B is not girl A

Girl B vastly overshadows girl A

In everything

Girl B has everything girl A doesn’t

Or so it appears to everyone

But it isn’t so

Both are gifted with magnetic

Flirtatious

Winning personalities

But one is given to jealousy

Rage

Self-loathing

While the other remains unaware

Funny

Blissfully enjoying her life

And it’s this that you are drawn to

Inexplicably drawn to

Forced to notice

It’s this vast ocean of difference

Despite the dark hair

And the dark mystery

You’re drawn to the happiness

The sunny qualities

The lack of self-doubt

You’re drawn to it

Because it’s not who you yourself are

You’re not like girl B

And you’re more like girl A

The one who forced you to choose

Even though you didn’t

But you did

You chose a long time ago

And although you say you didn’t

Girl B knows better

You chose girl A

Despite the nastiness in her spirit

The green poison of jealousy in her soul

Girl B knows this

And she knows why

She understands why

It’s because darkness can hide a multitude of sin

The light of girl B would have exposed you

Laid bare the blemishes you have taken such care to hide

You chose girl A because she has the same scars

The same insecurities

Perhaps even uglier marks that she hides

You chose her because she’s most like you

Because you stand a better chance with her

Because darkness cannot marry light

But guess what

You chose foolishly

Because although it’s true that darkness cannot marry light

You forget that light destroys all darkness in due course

It works slowly

But it creeps into the darkest corners

And makes the darkness light

That’s what girl B could have offered you

Had you been wise enough to accept it

But you retreated into darkness

And there you stay

Behind a screen that keeps you from the light

From happiness

From a life without ugliness

But you chose her over me

And I have no sympathy for you now

No unexplained need to save you

Because I was being dragged into that darkness

But unlike you and unlike her

I saw the dangers it held

And I fled

Because sometimes you have to do what’s right for yourself

Despite how much you want to help the others

You just can’t sometimes

So forfeit yourself

Forfeit your joy

Forfeit your chances

Forfeit the light

So choose her over me

Wallow in your self pity

Your levels of self worth

But for the love of everything good

Everything pure

Flee from the darkness of her

Forfeit her darkness

Even if you can’t forfeit your own

The light begs this of you

Choose nothing over something poisonous

Choose to run away

Choose to be brave in the face of uncertainty  

Learn to stay afloat