« 2007-07 | HomePage | 2007-09 »
08/29/2007
Fewest Dropped Calls My Ass!
Am I the only one in the world that thinks it ironic that the only place my mobile phone doesn't drop a call the first time around is in the parking lot of AT&T?!
Seriously, kids...figure it out. I think if all of us who have dropped calls rally together, we can start something. Like going and standing in the parking lots of AT&T buildings all over to make a statement.
But what do I know? I'm the girl who would like to employ the use of spike strips along solid lane dividers so that those drivers who are stupid enough to wait until the last minute are punished. I have other ideas, but here ends my rant.
Later Days,
Arty
23:54 Posted in Blog | Permalink | Comments (8) | Email this
08/15/2007
James
So we went to the boardwalk in Santa Cruz and spent a few hours hanging out, going on rides...even saving an abandoned, unsuspecting beach chair from a horrible, watery death, but nothing takes the cake like James.
James is my best friend, Lisa's younger brother (one of them, anyway), and he's absolutely nuts. Whilst there, he went on the Giant Dipper with Kenny and some others. Upon arriving back to home base, Lisa, Matt and I discovered that James had gone on it a second time with Kenny. And he bought a photo of them. I give you the following snippet of conversation (spoken at 2am in the morning because we're college kids and can do that sort of thing):
Lisa: What took you guys so long?
Deborah: Apparently that 24-hour Starbucks isn't so 24-hour anymore.
Kenny: Hey Arty. Hey Lisa.
Us: Hey.
James: (coming towards us, but remembering that he left something in Kenny's van) Oh! Photo! Photo! Photo!
Us: *laughs*
Me: (watching James come back) You got a photo?
James: Yeah.
Lisa: Which ride?
Kenny: The Giant Dipper.
James: (showing us the photo) Check it out. (Pointing to various things in the photo) That's me. That's my shirt. And those are my pants.
Lisa: (grabbing the photo) You took your shirt and pants off?!
James: Oh yeah!
Kenny: I held his shirt while he took his pants off.
Me: (laughing hysterically) How did you manage that?! The photo is taken so close to the beginning of the ride!
James: Inspired moves, Arty, inspired moves.
Lisa: I can't believe you took your clothes off!
Kenny: (laughs)
James: AND I managed to put everything back on before the ride finished!
Me: And how'd you do that?!
James: That part was talent, Arty, pure talent.
So somewhere, out there, there's a photo of James with no clothes on while he's riding the Giant Dipper. And to think...all I got was a ring from the carousel that I took against the requests not to. I love my college friends!
That is all for now.
Later Days,
Arty
17:10 Posted in Blog | Permalink | Comments (7) | Email this
08/13/2007
Handicaps
Hello!!! Long time no blog, I know. I know!! Stop scolding me for not posting in a long while. I finally have some time to sit down and write, so just be glad that I'm doing this instead of standing at the oven door watching my bread bake. That's right. I'm making bread. I've been very industrious this morning. I've made three kinds of bread. One is banana nut bread (yum!), the second is a whole wheat fruit and nut bread (yay, except for the raisins I was forced to put in it) and lastly, a plain nut bread. I felt like walnuts, okay? I figured I'd stick them all in breads since I can't eat them plain. Yeah. They cut up the inside of my mouth.
Anyway, moving on!
I'm running on pure adrenaline at the moment. Heaven knows I'm not well-rested. But why not? Well, I was out until all hours of the night last night with my brothers generally freezing my limbs off and laughing at stupid things because we were all so punch-drunk from exhaustion. But where were we? In the hills, my dears, in the hills. There's an observatory up near Bear Mountain (near to where we live) and we figured it would be the perfect place to go to see the meteor showers that have been happening the last couple days.
It's a great place. Far away from light pollution of the urban Bay Area and generally populated with curious wildlife. We weren't the only people with that great idea, either! When we arrived there was a good crowd that had formed. They had packed blankets, coffee, sleeping bags and portable telescopes, so we had ourselves a grand time.
After a while, standing there and looking to the heavens, becoming dizzy and getting cricks in our necks, my brothers and I decided to join the masses, already camped out, by lying on the ground and staring up at the stars. I, wrapped in the quilt I made, was the only one smart enough to bring any kind of blanket. Jeremy, clothed only in a 'stylish' aviator jacket that provided no warmth and Jeff in a black canvas jumpsuit (he had just come back from work and didn't bother changing before we left for the meteor shower).
Of course, a combination of exhaustion, cold and hunger aided greatly in the following snippets of conversation:
Conversation #1
Me: I hate those kids.
Jeremy: Does their dad work for the observatory?
(It's important to note here, readers, that astronomers from the observatory were taking full advantage of their big, sexy telescopes and also taking advantage of showing their brat children the wonders of the heavens. The children, of course, didn't appreciate such things, but were running around the gated off area where two telescopes sat, one fifty foot long, fifty foot wide telescope and another seventy-five foot long, twenty foot wide in a domed observatory. The children chose to run around screaming).
Jeff: Probably...the little cretans.
Me: *giggles*
Jeff: Let's play a game of 'Kill the Kid.'
Me: Oh come on, that's unfair of you. Everyone knows you'll win.
Jeff: True. I'll give myself a handicap of a broken leg, how's that?
Jeremy: And a sprained ankle.
Jeff: *laughs*
Me: And a lazy eye.
All three of us: *laughs hysterically*
Jeff: (after the laughter has subsided) You're on.
Conversation #2
(Please note that by about 2am, a group of old women [four of them], joined the masses at the observatory and parked themselves near us. We had a lot of fun with them and I would even go so far as to say that we made new friends, but the flaw in my perfect little plan there is that given a line-up, I wouldn't be able to pick any of them out because it was so dark up there that I couldn't see their faces).
Old Woman 1: My backside is getting numb.
Old Woman 2: Then stand up here with me and get dizzy looking up.
Old Woman 1: No, those kids over there (referring to us) have the right idea. It's easier down here. Your backside just gets numb.
Jeff: That's okay. My backside AND my front side are numb...and I think one of my kidney's is failing.
All of Us: *general laughter*
Old Woman 3: Well, when you get to be our age, your backside is about the only thing you think about.
Jeff: I think about that all the time now.
All of Us: *more laughter*
Me: No, you think about other girls' backsides, not your own. There's a difference.
All of Us: *yet more laughter*
(At this point, the children came back and were making noise, thus annoying us).
Old Woman 4: Little cretans.
Old Woman 1: They should make themselves useful and go to bed.
Jeff: I was going to suggest they make themselves useful by playing with the blue water in an airplane toilet.
Me: That's funny, I was going to suggest they go down to E. 14th and get us all tacos. It is taco hour, after all.
Jeremy: Yes!
(At this point, a meteor streaked across the sky).
All of Us: (forgetting about the annoying children) Ooooooooo! (There may have also been some pointing going on in the direction of the meteor).
Jeff: Crap! I missed it!
All in all, we had a great time last night. Matt stayed home to...get this...sleep! He favored a nice, warm, soft bed over the brilliance of the cosmos. To be fair, though, halfway through our little stake-out, I wanted a nice, warm, soft bed at the observatory so that at least I'd be warmer.
Now comes the time for responses to your comments! The last blog only garnered two comments. Two. TWO! What's wrong with you people?! Margo and Doug get bonus points and a free pass for being delightful and leaving comments.
Doug - I laughed hysterically with your comment. It was uber funny...and you're right, you're not one to leave comments on people's blogs, but I'm glad that my two liner got you to leave a comment anyway!
Margo - I'm past the vomit stage with all of that. Barry Bonds in a baseball player for the San Francisco Giants. Hank Aaron is an old school baseball player that played for the Atlanta Braves. Aaron set the record for hitting 755 home runs during his career, a record which, by the way, he held for 33 years.
Well, on August 7th, 2007, Bonds beat that record, which I'm sure brings to your mind the question of why I'm upset that a new record was made. Well, Aaron did it based purely on talent. Bonds is a tried and convicted user of steroids, which takes away any and all compensation made by any talent he may possess.
That is the reason I was so upset and that's the reason Doug left the comment he did.
As a side note for you, Margo, I wish to obtain the password to your blog. I can't get there anymore and I would like to see what trouble you're getting into.
And now for the time when I refer to everyone else's blogs.
DJ - Your last post was brilliantly hysterical. I laughed so much and even wondered if you were loaded when you wrote it since you never talk like that in person. It made me think that you ought to have been with us last night for our meteor shower exursion. I'm sure you'd have charmed the pants off our old women friends, what with being English and all.
Helen - I quite like Mesa Verde and I quite like Cornwall. I'm not sure which I prefer more. I am quite certain, however, that I'd love to read a blog about what life entails for you lately. When you're ready to blog again, of course.
Tio - Woo for the blogging efforts!
Tio Otro - What blogging efforts?
Hobbs - Brilliant, as always!
Margo - Alas, I have no blog to read! :p
Nossie - You really are very clever for your age. I think that if we strike up a good friendship, we shall dominate DJ and Lad easily.
Lad - Lots of exciting things seem to be happening for you as of late. I enjoy reading about them.
Rev - Go Manchester United! Really, the only reason I say that is because Matt told me that Manchester City hates Manchester United with a vengence...and I'm all for competition when it comes to sports. Did I mention that I'm a competative girl?
Matt - I would love to see you blogging again. What must I do to convince you to start up again?
Well then, my loves, I should get going. My bread is out of the oven and cooling on a rack on the counter. It looks lovely...apart from one loaf that got burned on the bottom. It shall now taste like burning, which puts me off it. I'm sure my mother will like it. She likes charred bits of food, especially steak. I must also ready myself for Santa Cruz. Oh yeah, babe...Santa Cruz.
Those of you not familiar with anything Santa Cruz, I direct you here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_Cruz%2C_California
If all else fails, know I'm going to the boardwalk with Matt and some other college kids from church. He's never been and has no idea what a boardwalk is. I'm excited to take him. I'm also excited for the salt water taffy that I'm sure to find whilst there. Mmmmmmm.
Later Days,
Arty
13:48 Posted in Blog | Permalink | Comments (6) | Email this
08/07/2007
Illness
Barry Bonds just broke Hank Aaron's record. It makes me want to vomit.
Later Days,
Arty
22:05 Posted in Blog | Permalink | Comments (2) | Email this